A Tale of Pain
by LynnPens
Summary: Lossemenel reflects on her guild life, and the pain that has come of it. One Shot.


Friendships hurt, and false friendships hurt more. It took all of Lossemenel's strength not to allow the tears that burned in her glowing eyes to roll down her pale cheeks. After months of being back with Eternal Pegasus, she realized that she didn't belong there. While she did make new friends, she never did anything with them and the friendship was merely on a social level. She had not become comfortable enough to trust them at her back, and the thought had worried her enough that she had gone seeking for a place that seemed to fit her better.

She had found them, or perhaps it was that they had found her. Twilight Sentries, the guild which Cilan called home. It was truly Gundorf, the dwarf hunter, who had found her, and asked her to join them in their weekly ventures into Zul'Gurrub, but she now felt a connection with many of those from Twilight Sentries, and some not. Those who didn't she still managed to connect with some, like Garas, whom she had recently spent an afternoon with in Zul'Gurrub, without Twilight Sentries, and they had laughed when she got herself into more trouble than she could handle and died twice.

Lossemenel had fought with them before and trusted them at her backs; a light friendship from the outer, lighter shell of hers was not making true friends, and it showed from the reactions of Ironmist and Flamestar.

Ironmist was the one who invited her to join the Crystal Dawn… she had devoted herself to it, and when Ironmist and Flamestar had caused the guild to split, she had tried to stay with the guild that she felt devoted to, and not her friends. This was the first thing that got her into trouble with them, and it would not… was not… the last.

When she did finally join the Eternal Pegasus, Ironmist and Flamestar's new guild, she felt a resentfulness that seemed to emit from the two. However, she stayed for many seasons… until, that night… that night in Uldaman, where she was being completely ignored, where she might as well not have existed for all that people cared.

She could not handle the thought that a group of some people she called her closest friends did not, were not listening – it was not like she was rambling either, for she was trying to help the group out – and had to take a little break from the guild.

During the space of a few days, Lossemenel had met a few others from a guild that her best friend had been in for nearly forever – the Buccaneers of Doom. She looked to a pair of humans – Odinstar and Shootingstar, a warrior and a priestess – for guidance, and guidance she found. Among the other friends she made in the guild was Ironfounder, a dwarf paladin who broke her rule about all dwarves being untrustworthy.

With these friends, Lossemenel felt that she had found her place and joined them. Apparently, this action irked Ironmist and Flamestar, for they told her that if she did not return to the Eternal Pegasus, her little sister was to suffer the consequences and be forced to leave also. Yes, at the time, Cirwen was with them… when the druid reluctantly returned, however, she was told to leave again not too long after for she caused people to be 'uncomfortable'.

So the sisters went back to the Buccaneers of Doom, where, slowly, their leader, Illuminati, made her good list too, despite the fact that she did not approve of the way he lead his guild.

But happy times never seemed to last, and this occasion was no different. Due to Illuminati's leadership and poor judgment of who he was letting in, rifts were created in the guild, which eventually split up.

Again, Lossemenel found herself in a situation similar to the one she was in before, except that when the guild split, it was unmade completely. Trouble at home caused her to leave and have no connection to the world during that time… trouble that would haunt her forever.

During the time that the sisters had been away, their little brother, Telrohir, a promising young elf, had… trouble had befallen him. Lossemenel truly loved her brother, whom she had been close to despite the age difference, and he loved her. Telrohir had aspired to become like her when he was old enough, but the opportunity never came. Their family called it an 'accident', and Telrohir became someone that his sisters dreaded and would grow to be a treaded of the night, a thief, an assassin… The loss of her brother shook her hard, and the thought that one day, she may come across him in battle and have to slay him or be slain by him made her feel ill.

She took a long while to recover, to be surrounded by the quietness of the home she had grown up in, and when she returned to the world, she found that the Buccaneers of Doom were no more, and Illuminati had started a guild out of the ashes of his old, this time called Eye of Virtue.

Sometime during this time, she had gone to the orphanage in Stormwind and found a child to her liking, and Lossemenel took a bit off to simply train the girl, who chose not to follow any path that they had already tread but became a mage…

For reasons she could not fathom, Lossemenel was asked to join at least four guilds. She held back for a long while, but when an opportunity from another guild – one in which she did not know anyone in – came up, she took it, hoping for salvation. Alas, she found no salvation from the chaos of her life, and ended up being more hurt than she started when she finally emerged from Rezurection. She had been kicked out with no explanation, though her personal idea was that she had failed to arrive at two Molten Core runs due to her personal life getting in the way.

For a while she joined Illuminati's new guild, the Eye of Virtue, but was not satisfied. She left first, then Meliensa, her 'sister' who had followed her everywhere, left too… they found themselves back in the guild that Lossemenel had thought there was no return: Eternal Pegasus.

What had stopped her from returning to them early was something she found out secondhand by the person who did it. Wilyon, the dwarf friend of hers, had left several times and had always been invited back with open arms. She had felt bitter about that, and it kept her from going back… why she returned she did not know. Perhaps it was to see the ones she had once called her family and to meet new people who have joined, or simply because she needed to rest among a group of friends…

She stayed for a few months, and it simply did not feel like home for her… and that is where she was today. Again, she and her sister had been kicked out, just that it was young Meliensa this time, not the hardened Cirwen. She knew that Meliensa would cry over the loss of her family, but some things, it seemed, could not be avoided. Yes, Lossemenel was to take the blame of getting them kicked, and she felt horrible for it… but the things she had done for the guild were not numerous enough to properly name, and instead of being a burden to them, she had opted to leave…

So now she sat in a tree in Moonglade, her knees drawn up to her chin and her arms hugging her legs, trying her hardest not to cry for a friendship that she never truly gained…


End file.
